we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
then he tried to convert me to islam
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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