I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
