Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
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My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
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i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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