After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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