She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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