We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
