You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
