Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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