I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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