she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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