i think my tv is drunk
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
