South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just high enough for therapy.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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