But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
