It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
