i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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