i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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