Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
