Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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