I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
