she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
