She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
this hospital has no fireball
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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