Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
