I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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