I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
