I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
