singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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