she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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