So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
