Hey man sorry I got all grabby
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
