At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The Olympian is in my bed
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
