no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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