1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize