dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
