We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I don't think brook has ever known best
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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