normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
