Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
