In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
