Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
