i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
