i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
