Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
