i just wanna soil my oats bro
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
