You can't special order awesome
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
