hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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