she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
