we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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