I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize