Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
