Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
