Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
