He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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