glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
