I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
