I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Houston, we have a blender
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize