This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
