i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
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You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
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ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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