If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
