i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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