I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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