The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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